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General Writing task 1, please evaluate my score

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Alexey

New member
Jan 28, 2021
12
2
3
Hello, could you please leave your feedback? Thank you in advance.

You are a student at a language school in New Zealand studying Business English. Part of the course is a summer work placement program. Unfortunately, you have just learned from the school that this program has now been canceled.

Write a letter to School Principal. In your letter:

  • state you reason for writing
  • describe the problem and your concerns
  • explain what would you like the Principal to do.

Dear Mr. Colleman,

I am writing this letter to express my deep unsatisfactory with the news concern about the summer work placement program. I have just heard bad news from school that this program was canceled.

One of the reasons why I chose to study a Business English course from June to August in your school is because the summer work placement was included in the program. When I started to seek a Business English course I have found a lot of schools that offer a similar course but no many who offer work in the local company as a part of the course. And despite the fact that your school has a pretty expensive offer I decided to take it because your program was a promise a better quality. But now I am very disappointed that I will not get all of your offers to me.

As a course program is very different than have bought before and I think it will be fair if you could return all my money back.

I look forward to hearing an answer from you soon.

Yours sincerely,

Alexey.
 

englishgeek

Active member
Sep 23, 2020
261
31
28
Dear Mr. Colleman,

I am writing this letter to express my deep unsatisfactory dissatisfaction with the news concerning about the summer work placement program. I have just heard the bad news from school that this program was canceled.

One of the reasons why I chose to study a Business English course from June to August in your school is was because the summer work placement was included in the program. When I started to seek a Business English course I have found a lot of schools that offer a similar course but not many which offer work in the a local company as a part of the course. And despite the fact that your school has a pretty expensive offer fees, I decided to take it because your program was a promised a better quality. But now I am very disappointed that I will not get all of your offers to me the full program.

As a Since the course program is very different than what was planned have bought before and I think it will would be fair if you could return all of my money back.

I look forward to hearing an answer from you soon.

Yours sincerely,

Alexey

Feedback

Good job. If you are asking for money to be returned, usually you request a refund.

So you could say something like, "I would like to request a full refund".

Here are some example letters for asking for a refund: