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IELTS ACADEMICS (task 1). Kindly evaluate my tasks!. ThNA

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irfan334590

Member
Dec 23, 2020
35
0
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The given below bar chart illustrates the different methods of transportations, used by staffs travel to and from work stations in one European city in 1960,1980 and 2000. In brief, the chart demonstrates that popularity travelling by car enhanced significantly as time passed by, while others fell except for the bus, its popularity increased slightly in the year of 1980, and declined in 2000.

In detail, car was least popular for travelers in 1960 around 5 percent, whereas walking was most common at about 34 percent. In 1980 and 2000, the popularity of car increased dramatically to approximately 22 and 35 percent, while in the same period, transportation mode of foot declined sharply to about 15 percent and 8 percent respectively, likewise walking, the popularity of bike also reduced significantly from 25 percent to 5 percent.

On the other hand, the population showed fluctuated behavior when choosing a bus as a means of transportation. Its popularity rose to 25 percent in 1980, but drop to about 15 percent in 2000.
 

englishgeek

Member
Sep 23, 2020
198
21
18
The bar chart given below illustrates the different methods of transportations, used by staffs to travel to and from work stations places in one European city in 1960, 1980 and 2000. In brief, the chart demonstrates that the popularity of travelling by car has enhanced significantly as time has passed by, while other modes of transport fell, except for the bus, where its popularity increased slightly in the year of 1980, and declined in 2000.

Looking at the graph in further In detail, cars was were the least popular for travelers in 1960, at around 5 percent, whereas walking was most common at about 34 percent. In 1980 and 2000, the popularity of car increased dramatically to approximately 22 and 35 percent, while in the same period, the transportation mode of foot walking to work declined sharply to about 15 percent and 8 percent respectively, likewise as with walking, the popularity of bike cycling also reduced significantly from 25 percent to 5 percent.

On the other hand, the population showed fluctuated behavior when the number of commuters choosing a the bus as a means of transportation saw its popularity rose rise to 25 percent in 1980, but drop to about 15 percent in 2000.
 
Last edited:

englishgeek

Member
Sep 23, 2020
198
21
18
You wrote: "Its popularity rose to 25 percent in 1980, but drop to about 15 percent in 2000." If you write like this, drop should also be past tense.

This statement doesn't make much sense. I am not sure exactly what you wanted to say here, "population showed fluctuated behavior when". So, I tried to combine these two sentences into one. It is written in simple present tense which is why I changed rose to rise. If you used the sentence as above then you would be correct to say "rose".

Please understand my corrections are never going to be "perfect". I try to fix the grammatical errors where I can, while still keeping the text as close as possible to the original.