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Ielts writing task 1 - propportions of income spent on four items in the UK

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dung

New member
Mar 31, 2021
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A glance at the graph provided reveals the expense ratios of grown up and younger English on four common categories in the United Kingdom in the year 1998 .
Overall, it can be clearly seen that adult Uk residents spent most proportions of their income on food and electronic whereas children’s comsumption was mostly for music and videos .
To illustrate , the main item bought by adults was food , which made up a quarter of their salary , compared with videos ( 1 % ). In terms of adult expenditure , there was a considerable difference between the money spent by men and women on both food , with 14 % and 39% respectively and electronic equipment ( 10% and 1%) . Spending on music was 5% of each genders and under 3% for both them .
On the other hand , children spent only about one-tenth of their income on food .In contrast , the largest percentage of electronic equipment and music , were 23% and 39% accordingly . Girls spent on 2% more than boys on music (40%) an also on food (11%) , while on videos boy spent on more 1% (18%)

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englishgeek

Active member
Sep 23, 2020
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A glance at The graph provided reveals the expense ratios of grown ups and younger English people on in four common categories in the United Kingdom in the year 1998.

Overall, it can be clearly seen that adult UK residents spent most the largest proportion of their income on food and electronics whereas children’s consumption was mostly for on music and videos.

To illustrate, the main item bought by adults was food, which made up a quarter of their salary, compared with videos ( 1 % ). In terms of adult expenditure, there was a considerable difference between the money spent by men and women on both food, with 14 % and 39% respectively and electronic equipment ( 10% and 1%) . Spending on music was 5% of for each genders and under 3% for both.

On the other hand, children spent only about one-tenth of their income on food. In contrast, the largest percentage of electronic equipment and music, were 23% and 39% accordingly. Girls spent on 2% more than boys on music (40%) an also on food (11%) , while on videos boy spent on more than 1% on videos (18%).

Feedback

- I would not recommend starting the essay with "A glance at.." Glance means to look at something quickly which does not fit well in an essay where you are supposed to be doing analysis of some data.

- Don't add a space before a comma, or a full stop/period.