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IELTS Writing task 1

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Mai Hoai

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Feb 12, 2021
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Could you please leave your feedback and evaluate my score? Thanks in advance.

The line graph shows thefts per thousand vehicles in four countries between 1990 and 1999.

Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.


Write at least 150 words.
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The line graph provides information about how many vehicles were stolen per thousand in Great Britain, Sweden, France and Canada over a decade from 1990.

Overall, the number of cars thieved in Sweden rose dramatically, meanwhile three others saw a stability over the period given. Great Britain was the country where car thefts per thousand were the highest in contrast to Canada.

In 1990, France and Canada respectively accounted for approximately 6 and 7 thefts per thousand. Then, there was a slight decrease in the number of cars stolen in Canada while it dramatically increased in France. The same pattern appeared in two countries in next two years and stood at 5 thefts in Canada and 6 Thefts in France before a recovery in 1993. Canadian car thefts remained stable meanwhile there was a slight decrease in France in the last two years of the period given.

Great Britain not only was the most sustainable country with some fluctuations and ended with over 17 car thefts per thousand which was the same as the beginning. A number of vehicles stolen in Sweden were outstanding. In 1990, vehicles loss was about 9. After that, it decreased before a stable status lasting 5 years. Significant increase was seen from 1994 to 1996 and stood at about 12 thefts. This tendency plateaud over next two years before hitting a peak of 14 thefts per thousand in the end of period given.
 

englishgeek

Active member
Sep 23, 2020
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The line graph provides information about how many vehicles were stolen per thousand in Great Britain, Sweden, France and Canada over a decade from 1990.

Overall, the number of cars thieved stolen in Sweden rose dramatically, meanwhile there was not much change in the three other countries saw a stability over the period given period. Great Britain was the country where car thefts per thousand were the highest in contrast to Canada (I am not sure why you are just comparing this to Canada).

In 1990, France and Canada respectively accounted for approximately 6 and 7 thefts per thousand. Then, there was a slight decrease in the number of cars stolen in Canada while it dramatically increased in France. The same pattern appeared in two countries in the next two years and stood at 5 thefts in Canada and 6 thefts in France before a recovery in 1993. Canadian car thefts remained stable meanwhile there was a slight decrease in France in the last two years of the period given period.

Great Britain not only was the most sustainable(sustainable doesn't really fit here) country with some fluctuations and ended with over 17 car thefts per thousand which was the same as the beginning. A number of vehicles stolen in Sweden were outstanding (I am not sure what you mean by this). In 1990, vehicles loss was about 9. After that, it decreased before a stable status lasting 5 years. A significant increase was seen from 1994 to 1996 and stood at about 12 thefts. This tendency plateaued over next two years before hitting a peak of 14 thefts per thousand in the end of period given.

Feedback

Welcome to the forum!

Your introduction is good, however, I think you provide too much detail and don't identify the major trends.

Imagine you were talking about this with a friend, what do you think stands out from the data? What surprises you?

For me it's the number of car thefts in Great Britain compared with the other countries. And look at Sweden, thefts keep going up.

You could write for example:

Great Britain had the highest number of car thefts of the four countries, with around double the number of thefts in France.

Sweden experienced the highest growth in car thefts over the given period.

If you want a score, I would give this a 6.

Keep practicing and I am sure you will improve.
 
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