• If you would like to support our site, please subscribe to our Youtube channel. We are aiming to get 1,000 subscribers so it can start earning money English Forum on Youtube

IELTS WRITING TASK-2 (Please evaluate my essay)

Welcome to EnglishForum.com!
Are you ready to improve your English? Sign up free today!
Sign up

Faysal

New member
Dec 22, 2020
5
1
3
TOPIC: Students at school and University learn far more from lessons with teachers than from other sources ( such as the internet and television). To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Today we live in a age of technology where now it is essential part for our life. It is irrefutable that students now learn a lot from Internet and television and those have become a unavoidable part of our education, but I firmly believe that teachers play more significant role in our studies. There are nothing can ever undermine the importance of teachers.

Firstly, teachers is the first person after our parents who help us to to get archived our goal with proper plan and it can be undeniable that teachers can stimulate interest. Therefore, interest stimulate people tend to learn more. Then they work hard and keep focused on study. Secondly, teachers not only teach student on academic subject, but also many social skills. We are human being we live in the society, its important to learn the social skills that we can get from our teachers no technology can provide that type of skills.

Furthermore, every pupils have there own ability to learn, some are good or some are weak in academic studies, teachers can recognize the weak points and guide them accordingly to overcome there problem. Although, there are many particular subjects like mathematics, science, physics and chemistry, which subjects students can be learn best from the teacher because most of this subject based on practical knowledge. That's why all this cannot done by the Internet and TV.

On the other hand. we live in a age of technology and the Internet is the ocean of knowledge. You can get any information for any topic within a second. But there are no authenticity of this information. That's why it's really hard to find the information from where to get, requires lots of expertise. The television also has a lot of education programmes but it is really hard to find to proper information. That's why students need the guidance of the teachers at all stages.

To reiterate, it can be said, that toady Internet and TV had a great impact in our life but students definitely learn more from the teachers.
 

englishgeek

Member
Sep 23, 2020
198
21
18
Today we live in an age of technology where now it is an essential part for of our life. It is irrefutable that students now learn a lot from the Internet and television and those they have become an unavoidable part of our education, but I firmly believe that teachers play a more significant role in our studies. There are is nothing that can ever undermine the importance of teachers.

Firstly, teachers is are the first person after our parents who help us to to get archived achieve our goals with a proper plan and it can be undeniable that teachers can stimulate interest. Therefore, interest stimulates people tend to learn more. Then they work hard and keep focused on study. Secondly, teachers not only teach students on academic subjects, but also many social skills. We are human beings we who live in the society, it is important to learn the social skills that we can get from our teachers that no technology can provide that these types of skills.

Furthermore, every pupil have has there their own ability to learn, some are good or some are weak in academic studies, teachers can recognize the weak points and guide them accordingly to overcome there their problems. Although, there are many particular subjects like mathematics, science, physics, and chemistry, which subjects students can be learn best from the a teacher because most of this these subjects are based on practical knowledge. That's why all this cannot be done by on the Internet and TV.

On the other hand, we live in an age of technology and the Internet is the an ocean of knowledge. You can get any information for any topic within a second. But there are is no authenticity of to this information. That's why it's really hard to find the information from where to get, and requires lots of expertise. The Television also has a lot of education programmes but it is really hard to find to proper information. That's why students need the guidance of the teachers at all stages.

To reiterate, it can be said, that toady today the Internet and TV had has a great impact in on our life lives but students definitely learn more from the teachers.
 

englishgeek

Member
Sep 23, 2020
198
21
18
I think overall your structure was adequate. I think you were let down by some choices of vocabulary which would have made your writing more sophisticated.

Perhaps you could have said something like "Teachers can act as a filter for the abundance of information available to students on the internet".

"Teachers can help students distinguish between factual and research-based information versus unproven facts and conspiracies which often abound on the Internet".

I think another point which you could have made is that teachers motivate students to learn. Just because there are larges amounts of information available, it doesn't mean that students will learn, understand and put that knowledge into practice.

Task response: 6

Presents relevant main ideas but some may be inadequately developed/unclear

Coherence and cohesion: 6

Uses cohesive devices effectively, but cohesion within and/or between sentences may be faulty or mechanical

Lexical resource: 5

Uses a limited range of vocabulary

Grammatical range and accuracy: 6

Uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms

I hope this helps. Please let me know your thoughts and if you have any questions. Keep practicing, it is the only way to improve your writing.