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IELTS Writing Task-2 - Research shows that advertising is as harmful to People's health

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Israfil Sikder

New member
Feb 22, 2021
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TOPIC-Research shows that advertising is as harmful to People's health as smoking. Therefore the advertisements for certain food products should be banned, as the ads of cigarette are banned. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In this modern era, obesity is one of the major puzzles in our society nowadays. Therefore, some people opine that fast-food ads should be banned just like cigarettes. While this approach can be proved beneficial up to some extent, this far from being the best method.

On the one hand, there is numerous reason why we should not ban food advertising, the first and foremost is that without advertising, people would not be able to make informed choices, in addiction freedom of choice is one of the key principles of a democratic society. For example, we live in a democratic society, where every people have freedom of choice although, when people see ads on TV or social media they have there own choice if they think it could be beneficial for then they consumed it otherwise they can supersede it. Therefore, I believe live in a democratic country we have our own choice. Consequently, the food advertising ban is not a proper way to solve the obesity problem in our society.

On the other hand, some people think banned food advertising should help to solve the overweight problem. Admittedly, I agree with the given statement, for instance, studies have shown a clear link between the regular consumption of fast food and obesity also fast food is unhealthy and advertising it is irresponsible. However, there is no need for fast food advertisement because it is already everywhere, thus I believe we should encourage people to eat healthy food as well as aware them the side effect of fast-food.

In conclusion, while the banned advertisement is not the proper way to solve the obesity problem, it will need a proper plan with some other effort to solved the problem.

Please sir evaluate my essay.
 

englishgeek

Active member
Sep 23, 2020
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In this modern era, obesity is one of the major puzzles in our society nowadays. Therefore, some people opine that fast-food ads should be banned just like cigarettes. While this approach can be proven beneficial up to some extent, this it is far from being the best method.

On the one hand, there is are numerous reasons why we should not ban food advertising. The first and foremost is that without advertising, people would not be able to make informed choices. In addition, freedom of choice is one of the key principles of a democratic society. For example, we live in a democratic society, where every people person has have freedom of choice although, when people see ads on TV or social media they have there their own choice if they think it could be beneficial for then(?) they consumed it otherwise they can supersede it (this sentence doesn't make much sense and I am not sure what you want to say exactly). Therefore, I believe live in a democratic country we have our own choice. Consequently, the banning food advertising ban is not a proper way to solve the obesity problem in our society.

On the other hand, some people think banning food advertising should help to solve the overweight obesity problem. Admittedly, I agree with the given statement, for instance, studies have shown a clear link between the regular consumption of fast food and obesity. Also fast food is unhealthy and advertising it, is irresponsible. However, there is no need for fast food advertisements because it is already fast food stores are everywhere. Therefore, I believe we should encourage people to eat healthy food as well as make them aware them of the side effects of fast-food.

In conclusion, while the banned banning food advertisements is not the proper way to solve the obesity problem, it will need a proper plan with some other effort to solved the problem.

Feedback

Welcome to the forum and good effort with your first essay here. Your structure is good. You have a few grammatical errors. Be careful with spelling too.

'addition' you spelt 'addiction' so it wasn't obvious at first what you wanted to say.

The third last line in the second paragraph doesn't make much sense.

Also, the question asks about banning advertising for "certain food products", presumably junk and fast food, not all food products. Your arguments come across a little weak. For example you write "... for instance, studies have shown a clear link between the regular consumption of fast food and obesity". I don't think anyone would deny this and it is not directly related to the topic of advertising.

I hope this helps. Please let me know if you have any questions.
 
Last edited:

Israfil Sikder

New member
Feb 22, 2021
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Sir, I have a question if I write my statement ( While this approach can be proved beneficial up to some extent, it is far from being the best method) on Agree/Disagree essay. It could be accepted or not?
 

englishgeek

Active member
Sep 23, 2020
261
31
28
proven is the correct form.

I would say, While this approach has proven beneficial to a certain degree, it is far from being the best method for ...