• If you would like to support our site, please subscribe to our Youtube channel. We are aiming to get 1,000 subscribers so it can start earning money English Forum on Youtube

Writing Task 2

Welcome to EnglishForum.com!
Are you ready to improve your English? Sign up free today!
Sign up

Alexey

New member
Jan 28, 2021
15
3
3
Hello, Could you please evaluate my essay? Thank you.

Nowadays many people have access to computers and a large number of children enjoy playing video games.

What are the advantages and disadvantages of playing video games for children?


Today, computers it is the necessary equipment and we can find them in each home, most often people use computers for work or play video games. If about work on the computers everything is clear what about computer games are bad or good for people especially children? In this essay let’s discuss and try to figure out that issue.

Firstly, computers have a very deeply intersection with our lives and it is not a surprise for everyone if sometimes not only children's but adult people play computer games. Games let people switch their thinking and relax after hard work or maybe reduce their stress and relaxing. Modern video games are becoming more intelligent, advanced, and complicated and this helps children's developing their mind, critical thinking and increase the ability to solve problems.

On the other hand, there are also many problems if people, especially teenagers spend an hour by hours or even whole night playing games, they are forgotten about their schools, homework or other responsibilities. Behavior like this might be destroying their social life and family and other problems might have appeared, if somebody spends a lot of time playing video games this may begin to disperse borders where a real and were a virtual life which turns to unexpected consequences.

To sum up, playing video games has both advantages and disadvantages and how young people will use them mostly depend on their parents ao family. I think that everywhere we should have a good balance and video games is not an exception.
 

englishgeek

Active member
Sep 23, 2020
328
48
28
Today, computers it is the are a necessary piece of equipment and we can find them in each every home, most often people use computers for work or to play video games. If about work on the computers everything is clear what about computer games are bad or good for people especially children? In this essay let’s discuss and try to figure out that issue.(1)

Firstly, computers have a very deeply intersection with in our lives and it is not a surprise for everyone if sometimes not only children's but adults who people play computer games. Games let people switch their thinking and relax after hard work or maybe to reduce their stress and relaxing. Modern video games are becoming more intelligent, advanced, and complicated and this helps children's developing their mind, critical thinking and increase their ability to solve problems.

On the other hand, there are also many problems if people, especially teenagers spend hour after hour or even the whole night playing games. They may even are forgetten about their schools, homework or other responsibilities. Behavior like this might be destroying their social life and family and other problems might have appeared. If somebody spends a lot of time playing video games this may begin to disperse borders where a real and were a virtual life start to blur. which turns to unexpected consequences.

To sum up, playing video games has both advantages and disadvantages and how young people will use them mostly depends on their parents and family. I think that everywhere like everything in life, we should have a good balance and video games is not an exception.

Feedback

(1) I don't think this is a good expression. How about "This essay discusses the pro and cons of children playing video games".

(2) Not a natural expression. Maybe you could say "Playing video games for long periods of time, can make children lose a sense of reality, between the virtual and real world."
 

Alexey

New member
Jan 28, 2021
15
3
3
Hello. Thank you very much. May I ask one more question how do you evaluate my score for this essay?
 

englishgeek

Active member
Sep 23, 2020
328
48
28
I would estimate a 6 to 6.5.

Keep practicing! It is the only way to improve your score.